@The_GetawayGirl
@tillygirl3
All the Pringle ladies
All the Pringle ladies
All the Pringle ladies
All the Pringle ladiesGet their hands stuck
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@tillygirl3
@JennyJohnsonHi5
I’m gonna be upset when HBO starts killing off Sesame Street characters one by one Game Of Thrones style.
@KalvinMacleod
911 what’s the emergency
“Please help, I made too much spaghetti”
Relax sir, we’ve all been th—*spaghetti starts coming out of the phone*
@omgthatspunny
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
@withanewname
[God creating burps]
Ok, that’s gross, can we make it come out the other end?
Angel: yes sir
O-M-G! Hahaha! Do it again! Hahahaha! Dead!
@neiltyson
To tell you the truth, beginning a sentence with “To tell you the truth” throws into question all else you’ve previous said.
@ilikeyouguys
Go to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me w that needle, I run off yelling ‘thanks for the free shave loser!’
@Jamie1947
[tv ad]
Hey folks, this is Don Key!
Come on down to Key’s Automotive for.. uh-
[camera still rolling]
holy shit .. donkey. my name is donkey
@juanadog
She has a weimerhi…wimerrihym….wimmerhie…
She has a big gray dog.
@SnellWarren
I’ve always sucked at math! How many people should there be in a relationship?