Johnny Depp’s wife of just over a year Filed for Divorce today…
With NO prenup…She is gonna get soooooo many bracelets.
I’m papering walls in the loo,
And quite frankly I haven’t a clue.
For the pattern’s all wrong,
Or the paper’s too long,
And I’m stuck to the toilet with glue.
#ToiletPaperApocalypse #RubbishJokes #Puns #DadJokes #Limerick
You Might Also Like
Some days you’re the Titanic, some days you’re the iceberg and some days you’re that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.
The words ‘selfie’ and ‘twerk’ have been added to the dictionary this year while ‘charm’ and ‘dignity’ have been removed.
ME: i trained my cat to talk
HER: let’s see
ME: name an object pronoun
ME: what do u I say when I’m hurt
HER: this sucks
CAT: we’re just getting started, Linda
-Joe’s coming over.
“Joe from work or Joe who thinks he’s the Norse god, Thor?”
[the distant sound of thunder makes the guacamole quiver]
Interviewer: describe a time when you were asked to do something you were uncomfortable doing and you declined
My wife says that we should keep the chocolate milk in the back of the fridge so it stays colder, but personally I just think she’s racist
Oh, you’re with child? That’s cool. I’m with vodka.
The worst thing about admitting you’re an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking.
A man approached me at a bar and tried to woo me with burritos. This is next level genius.