Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet.
4yo: I don’t have any other feet..
Me: Fair enough.
I’m pretty sure that the guy who wrote about the Apocalypse was a meteorologist.
You Might Also Like
I wish that my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply
“Subpar accommodations. One star.” – Oldest known TripAdvisor rating for Bethlehem.
[1st time meeting a friends baby]
Me to the Wife: “Our baby would kill their baby in a duel.”
Friend: “HEY! WE CAN HEAR YOU!”
Guide: Bathroom anyone?
Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza
Guide: That’s Pisa
Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza
I saw an image of the Virgin Mary on a pumpkin!
It squashed all of my doubts…
And, reinforced my faith in Gourd.
Me: What the hell do you want?
Him: Um, YOU called ME.
[tense situation in the war room]
“Ok now type in the nuke codes EXACTLY as I say them or it’ll blow.1-4-7-teen”
I’m 100% sure Zebra’s didn’t earn those things.
Rumor has it, some people get things accomplished without whining about it. Not my style. Interesting concept, though.