poseidon: has anyone seen my trident
zeus: the spearmint or tropical fruit
I’m responsible for the deaths of 100’s local singles in my area. They were dying to meet me & I did nothing. I did nothing!
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“Eat right and exercise?!?…
I dunno…seems like some kind of a scam, Doc.”
Wife: But the zoo told you never to come back
Me: [loading hotdogs into shotgun] Those giraffes can’t live on salad, Eleanor
Don’t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
If they ever reboot Grease, it must be directed by M. Night Shama-lamma-ding-dong.
Listerine: ‘I kill 99.99% of the germs that cause bad breath!’
Germ: ‘So you’re telling me there’s a chance!’
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does the same movies over again.
Who’ll he fight? The same bad guys! Billion dollar film franchise.
*hears robber in house*
If anybody is there.. I have Updog & I’m not afraid to use it.
Not too much haha you?
I wonder how many baptisms by fire were performed before someone switched to water.
White women are wilding out here