@pizza_dragon: "I'm so pissed I could punch a ba-"
"A what?" Big Baby from Toy Story 3 hovers over me, sawed-off shotgun in hand.
"A bagel. I HATE carbs."
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@PercySleeves: DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? DOG: Cat person, definitely.
@CrispinBurke: Huge, if true.
@Mr_Kapowski: Scrooge: You there boy. What day is it? Me: Junetober Eleventeenth
@Jamberee13: Me: hear me out— a food truck that sells crab related products called “Crab and Go” Gordon Ramsey: why are you in my bathtub
@RubyMay83700676: Ugh. Ribbed condoms don't even taste like ribs
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