That awkward moment when your doctor tells you that you have tennis elbow from repetitive hand motion and you don’t own a tennis racket ….
I’m so sorry my pet rock attacked you. Its just he really hates arrogant douche bags. Thank god he only hit your face.
You Might Also Like
Chalant isn’t even a word. Well played nonchalant. Well played.
I tell people “I’m here to raise awareness” because I successfully spliced a werewolf and the lochness monster.
I’ve just been called weird by my son who won’t sleep without his giant 7 foot stuffed jalapeño right next to him
I don’t like how far I have to scroll down when I enter my birth year online.
The stickier the better.
Size does matter-just ask Pluto.
Everyday I walk to work by a Ferrari dealership, put my nose against the etched glass window and say, “someday I’ll own a window this nice.”
Before I got married I didn’t realize “What do you want to watch?” was a rhetorical question