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@lildandeli0n: I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this
*Pushes salad aside*
@c12h22o11balls: Dad: It's atomic number is 26. Oh, and it's chemical symbol is FE
Son: Wow! How do you know so much about iron?
Dad: Well it's in my blood
@ragsy_: Verizon is selling off tumblr already, like someone who bought a doll at a garage sale that was labeled "WARNING: THIS DOLL IS HAUNTED", took it home, got tormented by a ghost, then went "hey, I think this thing is haunted"
@haykshan: According to serving sizes tonight, I'm a family of 4.
@girlontapas: They say old habits die hard...
My ex was an old habit, here’s to hoping.
@yenniwhite: Goodnight room
Goodnight neighbor’s Christmas lights that’ll stay up til June