@TheWriteStuff2u: I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going.
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@sixfootcandy: Realtor: Hi. Would you like a tour? Me: (stuffing cookies in my purse) The sign said there would be sandwiches too.
@BrdnHatesYou: A 12 year old posts a selfie, 37 RTs and 1013 likes. I post a selfie, I lose 18 followers and my family disowns me.
@ValeeGrrl: Just when you think parenting can't be any weirder, you find yourself consoling your son, upset that he can't get a squirrel to hug him.