@SirJeremyLondon: I’m starting to think some of you might be taking marijuanas
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@Aerostars4Sale: SPECIAL COLUMBUS DAY SALE: For $300 you can drive one of our vans into Canada and claim you discovered it.
@MaryKoCo: If ur late to an appt, just tell them u had another one, but were on time to that one. That way they associate you with punctuality
@freshestginger: *Librarian walks in* You know what's great kids? You don't need wifi to read a book! *Kids boo* *Someone in the crowd yells "NERD"*