me: *arms up, screaming*
cashier: but that is the price
“I’m still years behind on Breaking Bad so I expect the entire internet not to discuss it until it’s convenient for me.” – Idiots
You Might Also Like
Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there’s no racism problem?
Don’t know whether to be disturbed or enchanted that the word sesquipedalian is onomatopoetic
[God creating wombats]
Just roll that balloon in fur and let’s call it a day.
In hell all the ball pits are filled with legos.
*throws a grenade at Bruno Mars’ girlfriend*
*Bruno Mars appears out of nowhere and catches it*
*it explodes and both of them die*
Rejected names for lumberjacks:
Parachuting is probably the best way to put your life in the hands of a backpack.
Wanna live a long life? Get married. I guarantee you’ll change your mind real quick.
[at a funeral]
*approaches the weeping widow and embraces her*
*whispers* “So you’re single now, right?