@joshgondelman: I'm terrified of all my friends with babies learning that I've separately texted each of them: "Wow! That's the best baby I've ever seen!"
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@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [housefly pilot training] Instructor: You encounter a window! What do you do? X: Test the same 3 spots for weakness? I: Repeatedly! Good.
@Donna_McCoy: I make sure my husband thinks about me during the workday by packing him a sandwich that also falls apart for no reason.