@Sarcasticsapien: I'm throwing a party and it should be fantastic. I bought three bottles of vodka, made a great music playlist, and didn't invite any people.
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@longwall26: Scary: A wolf chasing you Scarier: A werewolf chasing you Scariest: A werewolf with a clipboard chasing you
@teacup_giraffe: You go for a run then post your route to Facebook. I dig a hole on that route then cover it with sticks and leaves. We both get exercise.
@sarcasticmommy4: My son asked for help with his math homework as we pulled into the school parking lot. Then I laughed & laughed & told him to get out.
@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: I just love a man who's not afraid to be honest. ME: *trying to impress* You sound really stupid right now.