@Sarcasticsapien: I'm throwing a party and it should be fantastic. I bought three bottles of vodka, made a great music playlist, and didn't invite any people.
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@Hurly_Burly: 878 dead bodies lay there. Liam Nesson "Are we done?" Police: "Sure, I don't see any reason why we should arrest you."
@jqfonseca: Dear student, When you use a camera to digitise a coursework for submission, please make sure you crop out any bits you don't usually show off in public. Alternatively, please wear pants when taking the photos. Yours, A disturbed lecturer
@roxiqt: The most annoying part of making spaghetti is when the noodles are done, so you pour them into the strainer but the holes are too big so you end up with spaghetti all over the inside of your car.
@UnFitz: I've got two tickets to paradise. Oops. One's just a parking ticket. Here. You can have that one.