@DirtMcTurd: I'm voting for Bernie Sanders based all on the fact that His fried chicken rules
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@pleatedjeans: [unzips fannypack filled with jellybeans and some fall out] Dammit [bends over to pick them up and the rest spill out] DAMMIT
@fluffysuse: Thank you. I am completely satisfied by your explanation and have no further questions. - No child ever.
@MomOfTeen: Me: Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Padre: What is your sin, my child? Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . .