@nayele18maybe: I'm worried that if there is ever a fire at my house, my kids will ignore the smoke detectors and sit down at the dinner table.
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@addy_maybe: if i ever got a tattoo it would be something meaningful in Chinese but deliberately misspelled to say, like, may all your trees be cantaloupes, so smug smart people would sneer at me but i'd privately be judging THEM for being pompous jerks guess how many friends i have
@stacywawa1: I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore. I kinda want to date him now.
@CMHorrocks: These racing car drivers are making a lot of pit stops. You'd think they would have went before the race.
@SlenderSherbet: When you're naked on the bed with the curtains open and the window cleaner comes.