@nayele18maybe: I'm worried that if there is ever a fire at my house, my kids will ignore the smoke detectors and sit down at the dinner table.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thenatewolf: Ah, yes, Halloween. The perfect night for me, a man who gets spooked when the commercials are louder than the show. Fantastic.
@blaha_Who: Women aren’t hard to read For example: When she looks you in the eyes, puts her hair in a ponytail, then starts throwing all your shit out You’re done bro
@WittySassBasket: If I had all the money, I would pay people to sneak up behind you and blast a bullhorn right before you hit send on a political tweet.
@JohnLyonTweets: Not only was my brother not mad when I backed into his Porsche, he even invited me camping and said to bring a shovel. Whew!