@PaperWash: In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters.
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@MondayPajamas: Sometimes you run into people who totally change your life for the better. Bartenders.. Those people are called bartenders
@mochanya: I've always heard that ignorance is bliss. My question: Exactly, how ignorant do I have to be before I find bliss?
@slyoung5: Good news: He told me I was his penguin. Bad news: Penguins only have sex once a year.
@Kryzazy: *me trying not to be awkward when I meet new people Them: Hi, it’s really nice to meet you Me: Yeah, thanks, my dress has pockets