@PaperWash: In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters.
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@eliyudin: "As a side dish to your burrito would you like all the things that are inside the burrito, again?" - Mexican restaurants
@bridger_w: When a cop asks if you know why you were pulled over, respond, "I'm actually not allowed to discuss the details of the case"
@lilgapeach30: If I had a dollar for every time I heard "grow up!" I could buy a seriously awesome security system to keep doody heads out of my fort.
@MarfSalvador: [Looking at the vast night sky] Her: What do you think about other life forms? Him: Well *thoughtfully rubs chin* wallabies are shit