If you are really good at comedy you can make $250 writing for a multimillionaire.
In a recent sleep study performed by clowns 9 out of 10 people didn’t even know they were being watched.
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*Jesus looks over bill from last supper*
“It looks like a fair tip would be about 30 silver.”
“I got this!” Judas yells, almost too quickly.
As a child whenever I asked my parents to close the closet at night they always said. “Why? Anything that could kill you can open that door”
Me: “Hello? Yeah hi I’m calling about your commercial where the woman looks really happy cleaning the kitchen, what’s her number?”
Kinda thick horizontal curvy line, two thinner curvy vertical lines, squiggly line, different thicker squiggly line
-Japanese spelling bee
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
If McDonald’s was smart they’d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
Day 1: I have bought many groceries. I am prepared for months of isolation
Day 2: I have eaten all groceries and will need to return to the store
Day 3: I have eaten all groceries and will need to return to the store
Day 4: I have eaten all groceries and will nee
Drink responsibly? Responsibility is why I drink.
In my defense, I didn’t realize it was a funeral procession when I started flipping people off for going so slow.