“but it will confuse children” is the dumbest talking point. everything confuses children, they’re idiots. do you explain other shit in the world or you just tell them giraffes are strange dogs
In about five years when a kindergarten teacher is taking attendance and calls out Thanos at least eight boys will say “here.”
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I like long walks along the beach until the drugs wear off & I realize I’m actually crawling through the sand at the local construction site
DATE: you smell so nice – what are you wearing?
Making out like this makes me hungry ever since I practiced kissing on my ham
Him: It’s “HAND”
Me: Say oink
Alarm clock set for 6:00 am
Bladder set for 5:54 am
Alcohol doesn’t make you fat… it makes you Lean… on tables, chairs & random ugly people…or sometimes floors
“Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable…”
~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out
Hell hath no fury like a toddler that sets down their popsicle and then comes back 20 minutes later to get it.
Him: I like you.
Me: I’ll soon put a stop to that.
Ignorance is bliss, and rampant.