@Aspersioncast: In Australia what doesn't kill you is probably just saving you for the sharks.
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@LlamaInaTux: Receptionist: the doctor can see you now invisible man who's also blind: who said that receptionist: who said that
@murrman5: [having daughter's new boyfriend (who I think is a caveman) over for dinner] so dave, how is work? *lights candle and watches his reaction*
@jonnysun: LAWYER: [whispers] i did the murder [loudly] read that back? STENOGRAPHER: "I Did The Murder." JUDGE: omg the stenographer just confessed