You Might Also Like


A moment of silence for those who sacrificed themselves to determine which mushrooms taste good with pasta, which are fun & which kill you.


Me: I have no choice, there is no other way

*puts voodoo doll of myself on tiny exercise bike*


If you run through an airport yelling “Marybeth I love you don’t go!” then you can cut through so many lines of people who like romance.


When I say books rule you say shhhh



Librarian: SHHHH!


Librarian: SHHHH!

Me: awwww yeaaaah


imagine not being able to use your imagination.



It’s my favorite time of year, the time when everyone puts their clothes back on and goes inside.


Money can’t buy you love, but it can buy you toilet paper.

Which is basically the same thing.


My husband got some virtual reality goggles for christmas and so far I like them because they make him very vulnerable to attack.


*Buys a bunch of wooden letters*

Cashier: Feeling crafty?
Me: Nope, just trying to make a name for myself.


I’m the most bashful person in the world, until you get me on the dance floor. Then I become the most bashful newborn giraffe in the world.