In Canada they just call them geese

You Might Also Like


Jesus died for our sins.
But then he came back to life.
Pretty sure that breaks the deal.


The best part about being single is only having to say “I’m sorry” to the dog.


Opens a sperm bank that only accepts redheaded donors….

The Ginger Bred House.


Me: [I run into the break room at work] You! You have summoned me! I am here.

Coworker: What?

Me: You just summoned me. I heard you.

Coworker: I opened a can of Spaghettios.

Me: Yes.


Parent Tip: don’t tell your child “I’m waiting, I can wait all day if I have to” unless you’ve actually cleared your schedule for the day.


[meeting a girl at the bar]
ME (nervously cracking every knuckle): hi I’m brandon
GIRL: please let go of my hands


I saved a ton of money on cool sports cars, vacation getaways and NFL season tickets by having children.