This guys talking about “Calm down, everything happens for a reason”. Then he gets all angry when I punch him in the face. What a hypocrite.
In Canada they just call them geese
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My favourite drivers are the designated ones.
Our parenting style can best be described as:
A Guy Doing Push Ups ‘One.. Two.. Three..’
*A Girl Passes by..*
Guy: “82.. 83.. 84..”
I’m working on a screenplay called ‘127 Seconds’ about my fat co-worker getting his hand stuck in a Pringles tube.
the most impressive scene in any spy movie is in Casino Royale when james bond is in a hotel shower and knows immediately how to use it.
A jellyfish can go its entire lifetime without ever meeting a peanutbutterfish
Wife: “you think all that sugar you fed the kids this morning was a wise idea?”
W: “they’re running along side the car”
So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don’t taste any different.
If Romeo & Juliet didn’t die and were allowed to marry, they’d have kids, get fat, and eventually hate each other.
So it was a happy ending