@psybermonkey: In line at Target when the woman behind be says to her kid "If you don't stop fussing I'm gonna make you spend christmas with this man" and then points at me causing him to cry harder
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@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Under special skills, you wrote you can be distant and vague? ME: *staring out the window* Idk, maybe.
@DrakeGatsby: When I was growing up, “Deadpool” was just what we called our neighbors’ hot tub after he mysteriously drowned in it.