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@TotesInapropro_: In my defense, your baby was crying before I dropped it.
@OmeoMusic: I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name
@wife_housy: No wine. No peace.
Know wine. Know peace.
@HRH_Duke_of_Url: Needless to say, I don't think it's good news.
@sensual_dad: DATING TIP: pull out her chair at dinner & whisper "that's not the only thing I'll be pulling out" then pull out her napkin like a gentleman
@CaptOblivious1: I went for a run but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something.
I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes