@reallifemommy3

In our house the answer to 🎶who let the dogs out?🎶 is always the toddler at 4am when we’re all alseep because she thinks it’s funny

You Might Also Like

@envydatropic

I dunno but if I was a “doctor to the stars” I sure wouldn’t be bragging about it these days

@Yes_ImAmy

Thank god we don’t have thought bubbles above our heads. I’d be in trouble 99% of the time.

@noneofyours99

Can you guess which dog isn’t falling for the “worm pill” wrapped in bacon ?

@ddsmidt

Baseball glove $150. Baseball bat $250.
Uniform $120.
Cleats $100.
Having my son quit in his first week of little league practice … priceless

@samdunsiger

Pho tastes great for a food that sounds like it just gave up.

@dmc1138

Steve Miller: “Some call me the gangster of love.”

Rest of the Steve Miller Band: “Nobody calls him that.”

@ch000ch

hoarder on TV: pls help me doc
therapist: of course. lets start by throwing out all these anime posters. we’ll take them to my car

@mattr_in_nc

Contrary to popular belief, tigers do not holler if you catch them by the toe. Also, could someone call an ambulance?

@fillthevacuum

“Ohhh, that’s what you meant by period sex” I say, removing my powdered wig and waistcoat.