@JoParkerBear: "Don't ever do cocaine, son." "Why, mommy? Is it bad for you?" "I was going to say 'expensive,' but yeah, whatever."

@TheToddWilliams: [beach] ME: Sure is beautiful here HORSE: Yup ME: Lovely sunset too HORSE: Uh huh ME: So...You want a drink? HORSE: Nice try

@Shock_Monster: If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I'd have to pick: My girlfriend.

@Wuttercuerk: I wear Lacoste shirts with the little crocodile on them because when shit goes down I want crocodiles to know that I'm on their side.

@DennisLWeaver: Friend: I love FB but it's gettin a lil boring. Me: Well that's cause all the cool peeps are on Twi- ..uh are all dead. Yeah they all died.