@JaneBadall: In retrospect, the kidnapping was going according to plan until I blew my nose on the rag I'd soaked with chloroform.
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@PaigeKellerman: 90% of being a parent is shouting, "Remember to flush the toilet." The other 10% is flushing the toilet for everyone.
@Home_Halfway: ME: 50 Cent has to clone himself to be able to go to the Dollar Store. DATE: Do you ever listen to yourself
@MissLynette13: Interviewer: So tell me a little about yourself. Me: I'd rather not, I really need this job.