@turtledumplin

In the beginning:
You hang up first
No you hang up first
No you
I already miss you you’ll have to hang up first
You have to hang up first

6 months later:
Goodnight hunny I lov…
*click*

You Might Also Like

@LlamaInaTux

[first day as a doctor]
Me: We’re going to need to amputate your leg

Patient: It’s only a sore throat!

Me: I just really want to try out my new saw

@Darlainky

I was having a drink of coffee and didn’t see the pothole in the road, so that’s on me.

@LurkAtHomeMom

My kids just introduced themselves as “Let’s Go” and “We’re Late”

@sarbadi

I’m at Target and just overheard a mom tell her toddler, “Well, unfortunately, you’re human.” I don’t know the whole story, but SAME.

@shariv67

No matter how many times he was killed by their products, Wile E Coyote remained loyal to the ACME brand. You’ve gotta respect that.

@PleaseBeGneiss

Me: one mcflurry please

Cashier: the machine is down

Me: awe then one for the machine too

@professorkiosk

[first date]

him: what’s the one word that best describes you?

me: I’m acerbic

him: I’ve never met anyone from Acerbia

me: no it means I have a sharp tongue

him: I bet that comes in handy when you’re chewing your food

@roxiqt

DATE: My ex was spineless & I don’t think I could date anyone like that again

ME, AN OCTOPUS: what

@breatheandlove

If you’re using YOLO to justify doing something stupid, remember you only DIE once too.

Inspirational tweet.