@iamspacegirl

In the middle of a GOP debate, Scooby and the gang suddenly rush the stage. They wrestle Trump to the ground, struggling to remove his face.

In the middle of a GOP debate, Scooby and the gang suddenly rush the stage. They wrestle Trump to the ground, struggling to remove his face.

- @iamspacegirl

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@mutablejoe

review of the year

Jan: no massive cow
Feb: no massive cow
Mar: no massive cow
Apr: no massive cow
May: no massive cow
Jun: no massive cow
Jul: no massive cow
Aug: no massive cow
Sep: no massive cow
Oct: no massive cow
Nov: there was a massive cow
Dec: no massive cow

@RxitWounds

[Sirens]
Dude open the door!

*barricading* How do i know you’re not 1 of them?! Were you bit?!

What?! Do you not know what a hurricane is?

@andrewmonea

You don’t need to wear clothes in public if you can run fast enough.

@dafloydsta

[god creating raccoons]
Take a cat and make him look like he’s committing crimes

@Mr_Kapowski

Me: “I injured myself at the gym”

Buddy: “Too much weight?”

Me: “I guess. I was just trying to lift my Segway onto the treadmill”

@BruceForce

I swear I won’t be undressing you with my eyes again. That REALLY hurt!

@PleaseBeGneiss

Cop: before I search your pockets is there anything I should be aware of?

Me: we brush our teeth with hair on a stick and brush our hair with teeth on a stick

Cop: *on radio* get the feds

@eff_yeah_steph

Parenting is just putting throw pillows back on the couch every ten minutes until you die.

@TheToddWilliams

[blind date]

HER: I’d really like to have sextuplets

ME: Oh wow, me too!

HER: Really?

ME: Yeah, but why did you call me “tuplets”?