Some guy called me a siren.
It’s like he doesn’t even care that I do beeping noises & I can purr & moan & do like all the other sounds, too.
Inception (2010) – Five men and one woman plot to nap on a plane.
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Just by reading the Marilyn Monroe quote you’re already handling them at their worst
At noon, we ride.*
*start the dishwasher and sort the laundry.
I just switched my doorbell to the sound of a shot gun loading.
Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.
Make a first date less awkward by licking all their food and then handing it back. See? Now you’ve already shared germs. Anything else should be easy peasy.
Me (sobbing): It’s just so unfair.
Husband: Do we have to go through this every year? Move the sundresses to the back of the closet and stop being so dramatic.
Life is like a box of chocolates: Eventually it will kill your dog.
If there isn’t a Chinese millionaire called ‘Cha Ching’ I will be so disappointed.
*Bad guy in pokemon voice* i want to end all life *after losing a fight* well fair’s fair here’s twenty dollars