Casper is not only the friendliest, but the most emotionally available ghost. His life is an open boo.
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HOT SHINGLES IN YOUR AREA
GET YOUR VACCINE AT WALGREENS TODAY
She’ll be coming around the Mountain when she comes. – Mountain bragging.
i sold all my lizards to buy my girlfriend a Toyota Tundra but she sold her drivers license to buy me a awesome obstacle course for lizards
*takes picture of son putting ornament on the tree*
Okay, now give that back to mommy and don’t touch another one, okay?
A gentle reminder that as a duck billed platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it is unusual in that it could make it’s own custard.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
Husband: Do you know where I put my lava lamp?
me: how would you like the steak sir
sir: well done
me: thank you but how would you like the steak
Mowed the lawn yesterday with my shirt off and this morning there were 50 shirts left on my porch with a sign that said, “Please wear.”