We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@funflaps: Indiana Jones: It belongs in a museum!
Me: *running away* Leave my sexy booty alone
@MelvinofYork: Hi, I want to get a tattoo to express my individuality. Do you mind if I look through this book of tattoos you've done for other people?
@junejuly12: Well, maybe they shouldn’t have asked me to play lawn darts while my ex was standing there like some sort of human target.
@iliezabeth: ALIEN:*points at Chihuahua* whats that?
ME: a dog
ALIEN:*points at Husky* whats that?
ALIEN:*getting angry, points at Pug* whats THA
Can I come over bae?
I need you. <3
*Gets reply text*
DUDE, STOP CALLING ME THAT. I'M YOUR DEALER NOT YOUR BAE. BRING CA$H!
@TheTweetOfGod: When the devil buys your soul he makes you sign a contract because even though he is pure evil he has an unshakable respect for tort law.