Indiana Jones: It belongs in a museum!

Me: *running away* Leave my sexy booty alone

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Why don’t Elvis impersonators call themselves the next best King?


Dear Tech Support,

I twied to puth my tongue in tha USthB port again. Canth you helpf?


Awwww finally got my nose pierced this morning.

Never fight over a bus seat with an old lady who’s knitting.


My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now I’m worried I married a witch


“Rogue One” idea:

The spies anxiously wait to meet their new commander.

Boldly – regally – he strides into the room.

“Mesa Jar-Jar Binks”


mom: what’s that internet thing called, “scream shitting”?
me: …
me: shitposting?


[Rock Paper Scissors Best of 7 Championship]

*down 3 games to 0 against Edward Scissorhands*

MY COACH: Stop choosing paper!


This is absolutely my favourite thing written about #FyreFestival