@SequelsWeWant

Inside Out 2:

The girl enters puberty.

Her emotions get out of control.

She goes Goth.

Sadness murders the other emotions in their sleep

You Might Also Like

@AristotlesNZ

Car broke down. Seen enough Man vs Wild to survive. 20mins later when the tow truck showed up I was drinking urine out of a poodle’s skull.

@grmonta

I don’t know what’s more embarrassing, accidentally sending nudes to your boss or getting a pay decrease as a result of your nudes.

@LisAHHHHHHHH

please bring me a bottle of your freshest wine no more of this cheap old stuff

@o__0Dev

I’m tired of conventional beauty standards that say I can’t wear a ski mask in a bank

@blade_funner

TV is so unrealistic. Friends drop by unannounced and people are happy to see them

@drinksmcgee

Her: Do you have any hobbies?

*flashback to placing dismembered body parts into jars filled with formaldehyde

Me: I make my own preserves.

@McClaneJohn2

If a cheesecake has fruit on it, is it ok to eat for breakfast?

Asking for me.

@LoveNLunchmeat

Took away all my son’s electronic privileges, and now he’s so bored he’s given me 35 hugs.

May take them away tomorrow too.