We don’t have Taco Bell in South Africa because this country’s been through too much already.
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I respect kiwis because they looked around, saw there weren’t any mice on their island, and said “fine I’ll do it”
[my first day hosting shopping channel]
“for those of you who love coconut, boy do we have a product for you”
[holds up a coconut]
*Flicks cigarette after a long drag* Here’s the thing, kids. Wolves don’t have lips so they can’t blow at all. That wolf was framed.
Wild horses could easily drag me away from anything, even from my favorite activity. Wild horses are super crazy strong.
I heard that processed meats are just as bad for you as cigarettes so I’m walking around smoking a hot dog looking cool as hell.
Whenever I’m in doubt, I ask myself “What would Jesus do?” then I remember Jesus got crucified, his decision making skills weren’t brilliant
JUDITH! FETCH MY EVIL PLAN GLASSES!
*2 hours later has organised a small festival*
Dammit Judith, these are my party planning glasses!
I wish someone would challenge me so I could help raise awareness for ice buckets.