@MissLynette13: Interviewer: So tell me a little about yourself. Me: I'd rather not, I really need this job.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 7-year-old: What's your favorite color? Me: I don't know. 7: I thought you went to college.
@mommajessiec: Me: Just one more hit. I need it. Him: *crying* Think about what you are doing to our family. Please. Me: *hits snooze button*
@WheelTod: If asked at a job interview "what's your biggest weakness", test their tolerance for honesty by replying "mortality"
@KyleMcDowell86: [getting pulled over] Me: R u a bear cop? Bear cop: Is that a problem? Me: As long as you're not a maul cop *mauls me for bad pun*