[picking up a pile of things from one room] cleaning is fun! [throwing it into a room I’m in less] and Easy 🙂
INTERVIEWER: So what would you say is your strong suit?
TONY STARK: Is… is that a serious question?
You Might Also Like
[stargazing with my daughter]
Daughter: dada where’s Orion’s Belt?
Me: it’s probably on Orion’s Pants lol.
Daughter: this is why I have a C in science.
Hey, small cars: stop masquerading as empty parking spaces. You’re enraging us all.
Chinese food – $25
Delivery fee – $3.99
Realizing they forgot a container – riceless
Not all heroes wear capes…
JANE: i’m an engineer
TOM: i’m a real estate developer
AMY: i’m a lawyer
*everyone looks at me*
ME: *panics* i’m a hospital
It’s that wonderful time of year again when the spiderwebs I’ve been too lazy to clean become functional decorations.
ME: ok bear with me folks *pulls out a live salmon and eats it*
BUSINESS BEARS: *look around at each other and nod approvingly* this guy’s good
Wife: What would you do if I died?
Husband: I would go crazy
Wife: Would you re-marry?
Husband: Ah, not that crazy..
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Who threw that? Gary, was that you? Don’t act innocent, I know you download music illegally.