Interviewer: What would you like to get out of this job?
Me: As many free office supplies as possible.
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This could be the Alcohol talking but….
OMG you guys! The ALCOHOL is TALKING!
The most important aspect of opening a Chinese restaurant is hiring a good chicken to fry the rice.
Alexa, which cat breeds are the most absorbent?
If she says “I’m fine” that means she’s fine and you can keep playing Xbox
When people see ghosts, why aren’t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
Everyone is thinking about who they’ll kiss at midnight, and all I can think about is meatballs.
Im the victim of an office bathroom power move. My guy used both air dryers to dry his hands while I just stood there like a wet handed fool
Genie: One wish left
Me: I wish I was cool
Genie: Your wish is granted
⛄️: Wait not like this
LOL at people with only 99 problems
What’s that like?