@ShortSleeveSuit: [inventing the saxophone] what if you could use a bong to play jazz
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@leechee420: Friend asks me to be her maid of honor: M-What do I have to do? F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished.
@BoogTweets: (my first day as a transformer) optimus prime: Transformers, roll out! Me:*transforms into hotdog cart* CAN I GET A PUSH HERE
@gogocosmonaut: Jesus said that he'd get rid of evil people, whereas Norse gods said they'd get rid of frost giants. nnI don't see many frost giants around.