@KatrinaGibson13
Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone’s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
@capnwatsisname
INVENTOR OF CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER: *stops smashing peanuts* Well that’s enough of that I think
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@KatrinaGibson13
@Bunnydurden
Hugs not drugs. Except, yes drugs and why are you touching me?
@somecleverthing
you play enough angry birds and you realize: the angry bird is you.
@ericsshadow
My wife Googled “how responsible does a 10yr old need to be to stay at home without a babysitter” and now she won’t let me stay home alone.
@Bunnydurden
Hey Paul Ryan, why don’t you save some first names for the rest of us.
@That_Damn_Duck
“I will cook for you.” I threatened
@funflaps
[sequel to Thor Ragnarok]
ME: *buying tickets for me and 3 friends* Four for Thor 4 at 4:44, por favor
CINEMA GUY: *for the 6th time this week* Please stop doing this
@Knob_ish
I’m only up to Covid 15.
No Spoilers Please!
@SvnSxty
*august*
y’all need jesus
*christmas ads start*
not like that
@clichedout
robbed a bank just to hear someone call me a person of interest