@mstluvstrinkets: Is it against the law for postal workers to smile or was it my audacity to mail something?
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@WilliamAder: They've got a tiger running loose in Atlanta and I won't take out the garbage if there's a moth on the screen door.
@Just_Lee_: My crush said he made his phone keys sticky thinking of me so I dumped him. I'm disgusted. What kind of loser still has keys on his phone?