Me: Come home soon baby, I’m dressed like Leia..
Him: So turned on, I am..
Me: If you show up dressed like Yoda it’s not happening
is Kristen Stewart a Vulcan
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Asking someone out is so unpredictable. You never know exactly how they’re going to say no.
once when I was at work I missed like 30 calls from my boyfriend & a text saying it was an emergency.
when I called him back the emergency was that fraiser’s son was goth in the episode he had just watched.
What do you call a parsnip riding a dragon?
How would you describe your time management skills?
Me: Can we talk about this later? I’m late for an appointment.
Just once, I would love to look my kid in the eyes when he gives me a picture he spent a long time coloring, and have the nerve to say, “could you make me another one…that’s not what I wanted,” just so he can get a sense of what it feels like to make him dinner every night.
Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine.
*clicks open my pocket watch with a glance before snapping it shut* as suspected I still cannot tell time
“I don’t want to disappoint you”
First of all, I support Arsenal
i love meeting boys on tinder