They say 1 out of every 5 humans is Chinese.
Out of me and my 4 siblings, I’m pretty sure it’s either Carl or Liu Yang.
Is there gangs where they just go to buffets? I can join that type of gang.
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ME: where ya headed after Denver
PILOT: flying into Boulder
ME: omg *whispers* I need to warn the others
DAD: You’re adapted.
My cover letter is just a picture of me in a sleeveless turtleneck karate chopping the word ‘unemployment’.
WHAT DO WE WANT?!
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
OH HELL YEAH THAT’S THE STUFF
If your job is so “essential” that you can’t get off for a killer global pandemic, you deserve $15 an hour and a union.
9: Can I rent an otter?
Me: Uh, I haven’t had my second cup of coffee yet I can’t do this conversation right now
They say that wherever you travel becomes a part of you. So I’m pretty sure I’m 98% living room.
Beyonce was Destiny’s Child. The other two were adopted.
Never trust someone who says you’re more important than cheese. It’s an obvious lie.