Your word is ‘effusive’
That is correct. What was your name?
I know lmao [hi5s other judge]
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If you hate Capitalism so much, then just write everything in lower case. Problem solved.
It weirds me out my phone won’t swear. What, is it religious?
My husband called and asked if I could be naked before he gets home from work. I feel awkward sitting here with his mother, but whatever.
*arriving home as my house burns down*
Firefighter: I’m sorry ma’am. Your boyfriend didn’t make it.
Me: I know. It was built in the 80’s.
this is the most cat thing ive ever seen
Trees have done a lot of shady things in their lives.
Co-Worker: Any of you ever smoke a turkey?
Me: No, I always have trouble finding papers big enough to roll it in.
Sure I’ll eat square slices of pizza, but I’m thinking of triangular ones the whole time.
Receiving multiple letters of complaint from the deer in my area. Apparently the deer whistles I put on my car were the sexist kind. I had no idea.