@ninjadinosaur1: It doesn't make sense that there are so many poems about love, but there are no poems about hot, buttery mashed potatoes.
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@CalmTomb: BBC crime shows on Netflix: - Inspector Grimpenchester - The Hangman's Ax - Get Me Bumblry! - Miss Lettie Pennyfeather's Detective Concern
@david8hughes: [wife calls] "What time will you be home?" "About 6." "Good, my parents are here &-" "Actually there's been a fire at work & we all died."
@sixfootcandy: HUSBAND: I got the dog heart shaped cookies for Valentine’s Day. ME: *through a mouthful of cookies* The dog?