@alldrolledup: It has come to my attention that some of you are eating the bottom half of cupcakes. That is the peel, people. Know your fruit.
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@OfficeofSteve: I always leave my vehicles gas on empty because I want thiefs to be as pissed off as my wife
@Vodkantots: Him: Tell me something interesting about yourself. Me: If my head got run over by a truck, it would explode like a watermelon.
@funnybeachgirl: If I ever met the Dalai Lama, I would ask him a question that has plagued me my entire life. "What color do Smurfs turn if you choke them?"