@alldrolledup: It has come to my attention that some of you are eating the bottom half of cupcakes. That is the peel, people. Know your fruit.
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@evildadatron: [first date questions] You like meat? I make killer beef jerky with leftover hobo carcasses...and she's gone Whatever she's probably vegan
@lilgapeach32: Who decided "have a happy period" was an okay thing to put on a tampon box? "Manslaughter is illegal" would've been more relevant.
@darksidedeb: I like my men well-rounded and sweet and rich and available and covered in sprinkles wait a minute... that's donuts I like donuts
@sass_n_ass: Shout out to the ampersand for always being willing to stand in the gap & help make our tweets complete by giving back those extra two lette