@Asbo_Unicorn: It is better to have loved and lost than have your face ripped off by a chimpanzee
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@PhilLaysheO: If a cougar left her teeth next to my bed in a glass of water was that a tip? Do I have to change the water? Do I feed them like goldfish?
@HatfieldAnne: It’s my potent alchemy of humility and charisma that has you off-kilter. Give yourself a moment to adjust.
@_coryrichardson: cop: you get one phone call me: [on phone] hey timmy. listen kid, i’m not going to be able to *very loudly* DONATE MY KIDNEY TO YOU TOMORROW cop: you haven't even dialed a number