@ChipKellysBalls: It should be a rule that if you're going to put you kid on a leash, you can't be mad if someone walks up, asks if they bite, and pets them
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@miller_tm: Just got an email from dominoes said "easy and delicious" they sure know how to talk to a single guy!
@pauleggleston: -Someone keeps phoning up pretending to be my grandmother. It's a prank, I don't know what else to call it. -Shenanigan? -Don't you start.
@Amburglar_: When asked by the creepy guy at the bar "Why aren't you smiling?" my go-to answer is always "My yeast infection really is bubbling up."