@Rollinintheseat: "It started out with a Kiss, how did it end up like this?"- Me, after eating an entire bag of Hershey's chocolate.
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@UnFitz: [rescued at sea] Coastguard: Where are the others? Me: Had to eat them. CG: You were out there for 4 hours. M: They really got on my nerves.
@RobElliottComic: I don't mean to sound like a tough guy but I've been in New York City for almost two hours and I've only cried like 31 times...