@ShrugLord

It takes more muscles to frown than smile, so I’ll consider this my workout for the day

You Might Also Like

@iamspacegirl

And Grandmother, what big thighs you have!
*Wolf just starts crying*

@Los01001111

*Smashes the Sony

*Destroys the Panasonic

*Pummels the Kenwood

*Rips apart the Pioneer

~breaking all stereotypes

@ChipKellysBalls

Jehovah’s Witnesses door-to-door success rate would be a lot higher if they partnered up with the Girl Scouts & started selling cookies …

@Pappiness

Eric Trump said the Syria strike was swayed by a “heartbroken” Ivanka. He also pouted that dad has never bombed a country for him.

@amishschool

Wife leaves keys on counter with a helpful note saying “keys” in case I thought they were llamas.

@mydmac

Once, just once in my life, I’d love a guy to grab me, pull me in close and whisper

I’m hunting wabbits.

@3sunzzz

“I think this ice cream is spoiled.”
*me drunk, eating mayonnaise*