It’s actually Dr. whatever

You Might Also Like


Based on how he reacts, you’d think my dog’s entire family was killed by pizza delivery guys.


Scientist: we’ve finally taught a dog Morse Code

Dog: [taps paw]

Me: what did it say?

Scientist: “woof”


If my son’s science project is to see how annoying he can be before I kill him then he’s almost done.


90% of parenting, is saying different variations of “We don’t eat waffles with our feet”.


[sees wife getting changed after work] you should leave them high heels on
“ohhh yeah?”
[thinking about the spider on the bathroom ceiling] yeah


I am starving and horny. This cucumber is going in me one way or another.


Boys who wear sports jerseys are just cosplaying athletes but no one is ready to have that conversation yet.