It’s actually only “Helvetica” if it comes from the Helvetia region of Europe. Otherwise you have to call it “sparkling Arial”
You Might Also Like
Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.
Why do Tomb, Comb, and Bomb all have different pronunciations ????
I finished three books yesterday.
Believe it or not, that’s a lot of coloring!
Her: What鈥檚 with the dozen donuts?
Me: They鈥檙e for my meeting at work.
Her: Isn鈥檛 it a zoom meeting?
Me: And?
I had to see these photos of somebody putting their sphinx cat in a wig and dress and now so do you.
Writing “Omg you guys are still friends after what she said about you???” on every group photo of girls I see on Instagram
I’ve never once used the “C word” in a tweet but I will now!!!!
Cookie.
There, happy now? You cunts.
It’s polite to hold a door open for a woman, but no one specified by how much
Despite popular opinion, you can eat fire. You just can鈥檛 eat it twice.
Banned from Yelp for including “the rat seems to be vulnerable to attacks from behind or when adjusting mask” in my Chuck E Cheese review
You think 2020 is bad, wait till 2025 when the Murder Ladybugs invade.
Boss: You’re
Me: Doing great?
B: No, I’m letting you
M: Have the corner office?
B: go.
M: Why?
B: Constantly completing my sentences wrong.
Subway Guy: Enjoy your sandwich
Me: You too!
Subway Guy:
Me:
Me: *gives him my sandwich* this is yours now
Google search history:
-double chin reduction exercises
-double chin plastic surgery cost
-double fudge brownie recipe
I’m going to stay off my phone today and clean my house.
Narrator: She stayed off her phone for 25 minutes and cleaned off the couch to nap.
“It’s definitely better without a condom” I say, removing it from my soup
My Uber driver was acting shady and I told him I鈥檓 not in the mood to kidnapped he said okay 馃槶馃槶馃槶
It鈥檒l be neat when Taylor and Travis break up. Instead of writing an angsty song about him, she can just buy the Chiefs and move them to Singapore.
i haven’t been able to stop thinking about this for days… what did he mean… what does he know
[the next jurassic park movie]
ATTENDANT: Oh no the dinosaurs have escaped again!
ME: Why do people keep coming here…?
When life gives you chlamydia, make lemon chlamydia?
The first matador
My dog walking company has terrible reviews and I’m being sued.
My garage full of dogs is totally worth it.
My boss: “Sean, what do you know about Twitter?” Me: “nothing. Why? What have you heard?”
Child: Mommy said I鈥檓 allowed to say the C-word now.
Me: Uh. What C-word?
Child: The bad one.
Me:
Child:
Me: Mommy is letting you say-
Wife [running in from other room]: CRAP SHE MEANS CRAP
[first day as a peterinarian]
Customer: I think there鈥檚 a misprint on that sign
Me (petting dog): No.
A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.
all the apology videos are terrible because the people capable of writing a good apology are on strike.
Serious question: how long should your hug with the pizza delivery guy last? I don’t want things to get creepy.
12: Can I have $20?
Me: I think you mean borrow
12: I don’t think that’s what I mean