You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
It’s all about how much devastation you can leave in your wake.
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If by loves to travel you mean secretly following you every where you go from a safe distance then yes I love to travel.
DAVE IS HAVIN A SEIZURE
Paramedic: How long has he been having convulsions?
IDK HE’S WHITE, I THOUGHT HE WAS DANCING
How do you say “I’m sorry I got you pregnant, but my plane leaves in an hour. I might visit the baby one day.” in Korean?
[death row sitcom]
Me [sits down in a chair to eat]: This chicken is raw!
Warden [flicks switch]: That’s about to change
“AUGHHGGUAUGGHGHGHGHGGGGH!!!!!!!!” – killer wail
Mistakes married women make:
1. Assuming he heard you.
2. Assuming he understood you.
3. Assuming he’ll remember.
4. Marrying a man.
JOKER ENDING EXPLAINED! those names were the people who worked on the film
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.
“My wife worked a 12-hour day and I asked what was for dinner” I explain to the other homeless people.